01 Nobody has a cool orgasm face

…so stop trying to control it. You either look like you’re about to do a big sneeze or you’ve just stubbed your toe. So does everybody else.

02 Pets should not be in the room

Either they sit there and watch you, which is just a bit creepy, or they try to join in, which is as much a total mood-killer as it is hilarious.

03 Girls think about anal too

…but that doesn’t mean it’s always a good idea. If you’re going to go there, three words: Lots. Of. Lube.

04 There are not 22 positions in a one-night stand

 The first time you sleep with someone you always feel like you should get through as many positions as possible. It’s really not necessary. ”This isn’t the Cirque du Soleil,” says the girls.

05 Trimming your pubes is fine. Shaving is not

Whipping off your checks to reveal a sleek and entirely bald Johnson will probably intrigue her for a minute or two, but she’ll be giggling about it with her friends later. Liberal trimming is THE way forward.

06 Always ”announce” your ”arrival”

Most British guys don’t say all that much while they’re having sex. But girls appreciate when a guy tells them that the end is nigh. Especially if they’re giving head at the time.

07 By the time you’re 30, sex is more fun

According to a Lovehoney poll, women peak sexually in their 30s – and their sexual appetite increases.

We’re not suggesting you rush out and snag the first cougar you find milling about outside Waitrose, but 17% of 35 to 44-year-old women give themselves a 10 out of 10 in the bedroom.

Huh? Själv har jag typ tröttnat helt i denna åldern..

08 Don’t jackrabbit

Secretly, we worry that girls expect every session to end with five to 10 minutes of relentless pounding.

In reality, the jackhammer treatment is about as pleasurable for the girl as it is for you to be fellated by a vacuum cleaner.

09 Sexy and good-looking are not the same thing

It is extremely possible to be one without being the other.

10 Remember…it’s meant to be fun

Sex should be a laugh. Porn stars may quote bits of dialogue from Anchorman while piston thrusting, but forget those guys, they’re inhuman.

If you can’t make each other crack up while you’re both naked and sweaty, then you might as well be living in the 1930s.